Got Change

Wandering wounds of senses, hollow found breath waits as darkness bleeds into sudden color of skin. Tingles arise, wondering where the numbness will take me today. Staggering in the store as you look away – reminded of your own mortal rot I slowly melt down in your public space. Invisible, my loss is not yours and I’m guilty too, my eyes have looked away as often. Constant hope that something will renew me, my spirit rising to joyous wonder as a fitful moment of good health passes, keeps me alive. Numbness, uneven spotting and spattered loss of touch of things, my dalmationed hide is leaving the planet ahead of this slack heart. Lung filled lazy sick fatigue holds me in arms of spiraling stupid torpor, like sleep but skimming, always skimming awake from leaky wet spots. They say I’m disabled, I’m not able, what they didn’t tell you is that I’m already dead. Your eyes tell me that every time you look through my quiet invisible flesh. There is no paradise for us – wretched sidewalk revenants – lost in public view. There is only you, passing legs on the concrete. No one may know what is really in my head or what I see, but I know – as deeply as any professed faith has ever known – that for me there is only pain and an always stirred cool dust of disregarding strangers as I sit and catch your guilty coin. Forest abounds, soft sun warmed fields and fogged cliffs lay in wait, beauty is but around this corner, opinion passes with the shiny shoes of strangers. Glittering granite grit anoints my stone-faced pain. Heels of fate stride by, feeling the wash of mindless fear I watch the clean disregarding shoes of strangers walk away.

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